trapped living behind these bars
breathing smoke from human cigars
i'm sure they'd rather be on mars

shunned, sickly, kicked out of the way
there used to be much better days (than this)
little creatures just want to play


these rats so misunderstood
shuffling through your neighborhood
trying to survive on what little they have

these rats are doing their best
searching for a comfortable nest
they mean us no harm, just leave them alone

I made my weekly trip to the pet store
I was looking for a new companion
They didn't have any hamsters
I'd bought all their gerbils
I thought about a fish but
turned around and saw
Rats! Rats! I'll stick one in my ass
I'll lube it up with Vaseline(tm)
feel it squirm inside of me
Rats! Rats! I stuck on in my ass
it was a catastrophe
it ate its way up to my spleen
I headed to the walk-in clinic
they'd seen me there before
once to remove a lightbulb
and an apple core
the doctor took a flashlight
and took a glance within
he left the room quickly
I head him throwing up
he saw
Rats! Rats! I stuck one in my ass
I lubed it up with Vaseline(tm)
to feel it squirm inside of me
Rats! Rats! I stuck it up my ass
it was a catastrophe
it ate its way up to my spleen
Now it's too late for me but i'm warning you
be careful when selecting playmates
that could devour you
I think i've learned my lesson
now that i eat through a tube
I stay away from pet stores
and I avoid the zoo because of
Rats! Rats! I stuck one in my ass
I lubed it up with Vaseline(tm)
to feel it squirm inside of me
Rats! Rats! I stuck it in my ass
it was a catastrophe
it ate its way up to my spleen

Gotta grow out my tail
and sharpen my teeth
gotta prepare
for what’s underneath

been living this life
this life as a vole
it’s time to see
what’s beyond my hole

my skinny legs
weren’t built for pace
but over longer distance
i can take on this race

can’t keep on living this life
this life as a vole
gotta go out and see
what is beyond my hole